Swedish Girls, Lady-Boys, Bugs and Muay Thai — Oh My!

When we left off, me and Alex (my GOOD friend … unlike the one that didn’t come … who shall not be named … YET!), were sitting here and I was typing this blog post while we waited to go meet the trainers.

You see, we paid more to get private training from some of the trainers. Little slips that you give the trainers that give you an hour of one-on-one time with them. This is a good thing, because you get more personalized attention — the teachings always the same, etc.

One thing people who’ve never trained at a martial arts school don’t realize is every single trainer is going to be different, even at the same school and the same martial arts style. They all have a “slightly” different way of teaching you something. One says “twist more with your wrist this way”, the other says “don’t”, etc …

So it’s good to try and keep things “same, same” as much as possible for accelerated learning.

After meeting the trainers, we come back to the house and start doing the only thing serious rock-n-rolla’s (“a real rock n’ rolla”) would do … we worked on the Jack Daniels n’ got in some smokin’!

Now, I know it might come as a serious surprise to some of you, that I occasionally partake of the smoking habit — however, from reading my other posts such as How To Drink Alcohol While Building Muscle and Losing Fat, maybe it’s not such a surprise?

If it makes you feel any better, I’ll do a post later about the benefits of natural, organic, tobacco.

Anyways, Onward!

Our temporary room came with two other people, Swedish they are, one man and one female. I could tell this when we arrived past midnight the first night because of the cute little pink flip flops with flowers on them. Ahhh, women

Quick Lesson In Gaming Girls Who Are With A Guy Already …

So we’re drinking and smokin’ and the two roomies come back. When I get the eye contact from the guy I immediately say hello and introduce ourselves, etc (when a guy is with a girl you want to talk to, always talk to the guy first, it puts him at ease, the girl at ease and he’ll be less likely to C*ck-block you later!)

Small talk follows, etc. He goes away to shower (because he wants a hot shower, he has to go next door) and we invite the girl to party later because she doesn’t drink whiskey (pity for her). So the most logical thing to do is go out with us and drink whatever it is she drinks.

What You Should Know About Eating In Thailand …

Here’s the only thing I’m not liking about this country so far. It’s not friendly to eating “anabolically” that is, in the states I survive on fat and protein — mostly red meat and not much else (save some veggies, etc) — while the weekends I eat like a pig of everything.

Here: the menu is mostly all chicken and fish. Very little beef I’m noticing. Is this because little chickens and those damn crowing roosters are so small and easier to farm and everywhere? I dunno, but maybe?

Anyways, we call this cabbie guy we met who is very cool and speaks good English. He takes us down to Rawai Beach because we wants the foodies and the bar. And we end up at this huge seafood place. Or maybe it looked huge because we were the only ones currently there.

No matter! We got to see some pretty cool ish’ when they let us pick the fish we wanted to eat, and the crab for the lady, and much hilariousness ensued while the fish jumped out of the baskets …

Why I’m Not a Big Fan Of Fish …

It’s not that I don’t like fish, it’s pretty good tasting, etc but I don’t like to die.

And when you’re drunk and you are eating fish that still have the bones in them, as ours did …

… then you could easily kill yourself choking on the little bones there. By the way, I’m not sure how you say “hot sauce” in Thai, but all it translated to for our waiter was “salt”.

Bar Hoppin’ In Thailand!

We finished eating and started walking to find a bar. We stopped to get some smokes and then our driver drove by and picked us up.

Speaking of smoking being unhealthy, did you know that in Thailand, instead of a “Sergeant Genereral’s Warning” on the box, they just take a picture of some unlucky soul who is dying from a smoking-induced death?

Seriously, check it out (I think this one is warning against lung disease?) …

We try to drunkingly convince our cabbie driver to come drink with us at the bar he chooses, but he protests with some nonsense about alcohol interfering with his job driving people around.

No matter!

We make it to the bar and start sippin on some Tiger beer. I think I’ve had it back in the states but it seems more “Thai” here.

The bartenders are all women and all cool and all speak pretty good English so after much flirting they start eating Grasshoppers. WTF?

So I tried one …

But her face was the best (she actually liked them, I think she just winced at the flash on the camera) …

TIP FOR GUYS: If you’re ever talking to a girl who you want to flirt with, or run out of things to say and she speaks a different language (even if it’s not in another country, and she just speaks a little) — try this — it always works for me:

ME: “How do you say ‘ You are so cute’ ?”

HER: ” Blah blah (in her foreign tongue) ”

ME: “Awww! Thank you ”

Say it with a big smile, overly-exagerrate the fact you’re flirting and then wait for her to punch you in the arm after laughing. It’s on after that (if you so choose) …

Alex’s New Thing: Narcolepsy …

So we have a new tradition now. We go out drinking and Alex falls asleep upright in his chair. Usually with a cigarette in his mouth …

I Almost Forgot! Lady Boys!

So, everyone was busting my balls before I left for Thailand because apparently lady boys are a big thing over here. For those not in the “know”, a lady boy is a Thai man who is usually effeminate and has had one or more procedures to get to lookin like a lady.

I THINK I identified one at the bar we were at. I don’t think He/she worked there, but I’m not sure. It could of been either way.

I did like our cute bartender, who I was pretty sure was 100% female, even though she ate bugs.

And of course, I really liked the Swedish girl we took out with us

Wakin Up Early, A.K.A. Train Muay Thai In 90% Humidity While Hung Over!

So 6:30am rolled around a little too quickly … especially since I was …  *ahem* … up late … “talking” … with the lovely swedish girl … but I’ve found when you’re on a vacation and you have tons of rad things to do, you have energy no matter what.

Plus, the fact that it’s already sunny and hot that early in the morning helps you wake up easy. It was off to the one temperature coldish shower (which also helps you wake up!) and up to the Camp at 7am to do some Yoga for an hour.

Now, I’m not big on running for cardio, especially for fighters, so I took the yoga class in the morning. They have a running class the same time, which I’ll probably end up doing at least every other day maybe in later weeks just to train more “Thai”.

Muay Thai VS Taekwondo …

So I made my way to the advanced ring, but a trainer seeing it was my first day there, had me show him the basic Thai Kickboxing moves, etc … and … promptly sent me to the beginner’s area.

The thing is: every style is different and with over 12 years experience in Taekwondo, I kick like that type of fighter, etc.

The differences are many but among them is we kick and put our foot down in front so you’re always moving forward, Thai boxing you put it back behind you or occasionally continue with the momentum for a full turn … and of course … in Taekwondo there’s no boxing with the hands, knees or elbows.

So it was 8am-10:30ish of Muay Thai Basic Techniques, etc then 3 rounds of pad work with the trainers, 3 rounds of bag work and 3 rounds of boxing sparring (light) with 10 pushups in between every round. Then ending the class with 300 situps and another 100 pushups.

One-On-One With My Trainer …

I go home, get some water, shower, (take some super secret supplements) and redress to meet up for the one-on-one training for an hour or so. I like this guy, he’s got cool long hair and seems to know his stuff. He’s 45 but looks 35. Trained for over 20 years with over 155 fights. Soooo … he knows his stuff.

Anyways, he holds pads while I kick a few times then immediately says I’m not a beginner and I tell him Taekwondo, etc and he’s like “OOOOH” then he says I’ll just have to tweak a few things and it’ll be no problem. Change the little differences, re-wire some habits, etc.

It goes good, sweaty, and whatnot then it’s over. I go home and try to nap, but no use. So I do some work instead.

What’s For Dinner? Even More Muay Thai!

So 4 o’clock rolls around and it’s Muay Thai sparring technique (combinations), pads, bagwork, and light kickboxing sparring for about another three hours or so. Then the aforementioned F*ckload of pushups (100) and situps (300) my stomach was starting to cramp up after that one.

It’s fight night so all the trainers bail and go to watch that after class ends along with most of the students. We didn’t have the right amount of money on us and me and Alex are pretty tired by this point so we just decide to go grab something to eat (find some Red meat!) and then go to bed.

So yea, unlike a rock-n-rolla, I crashed around 9pm ish last night

“Well, I Was Going To Take Off Saturdays …”

That’s what I told my trainer. But Thai Fighters train Monday through Saturday. Plus, he wants to get me ready (for what? Ah! You shall see later!) so this morning I get up at 6:30am again (after laying in bed trying to sleep for a couple hours) and we get some breakfast and coffee — GOD I love Coffee

By the way, what’s missing from this picture again?

Here’s a hint: this person, who is not on this trip, though should of come, says stuff that makes me and Alex give him that “C’mon Man! Are You SERIOUS???” face all the time!

Then it’s back to the room, I catch a nap and one-on-one with my trainer at 11:30 again. It’s hot. It’s sweaty. I’m pretty sore from the situps/pushups the day before (though not as much as I thought I would — but that’s the thing about DOMS (delayed onset muscle soreness) it usually takes a few days)

SORENESS TIP: The workout will actually help the soreness although many people still believe that you should not workout while sore, when you do the same movements, it pumps nutrient-rich blood back into the area and speeding recovery. Just take it a little easier if possible. either way, your body will adapt.

However, the bruises on my shins from kicking with those and blocking with them (we try to get out of the way with TKD and kick with our feet instead) are gonna take some getting used to. I was actually surprised to find that they kind of “numbed up” about half way through the first round on the thai pads.

Things I’ve Learned, Random Thoughts So Far …

• It’s hot here. I love it, and you always get a good sweat when training. Sersiously, it looks like you just got out of the shower but your muscles stay warm and you get plenty of sweating which is good for detox …
• Nutrition is important. All the trainers are skinny, probably because it’s a low-protein/low-fat diet in general around here. I bought a little milk to drink in between sessions to hold me over till my big meal at night for help with this …
• The kids here are BEASTS! I was talkin to a trainer about his brother who is 15 and been training for 8 years already. The kids are relentless.
• Thais respect speed power and fitness. If you have those three things they’ll probably like you. It seems, to me at least (and no dis-repsect to the trainers or anyone here) that Muay Thai is about being really effing tough and just beating on each other till one gives up. The training reflects that, high volume kicks, punches, knees, calisthenics, bag work, pad work, sparring, etc. A little too much “quantity over quality” for me … but … you can’t argue with results can you?
• I love foreign women. I can’t wait to meet a Thai Girl.

So that’s about it, I’m chillen on our porch writing this article and gonna try to meet up with a friend for hanging out the rest of the day. I won’t train tomorrow (Sunday) and I’ll try to get a massage either today or tomorrow to try n’ speed recovery a little and of course get some more calories in before Monday as well.

Overall, I love this country so far, the weather is amazing, it’s sunny all day and rains while you sleep, and the people are nice, down-to-earth and awesome too