Healthy Foods That Kick Ass

Today, I’m going to tell you about some of the “healthy” foods I’ve been eating lately … that absolutely kick mucho ass and taste sexy like a chocolate strawberry!

Answer these questions before reading:

• Do you like it when I post pictures of gorgeous women for no real reason other than to celebrate their beauty even if it has nothing to do with the content of the post?
• Do you like delicious snacks?
• Do you like mouthgasms?
• Do you like anabolic foods that taste like heaven?
• Finally, do you like stuffing your face with little consequence?

If you answered yes, to two or more of the preceding questions, then I invite you to read on!

But first …

I know some people are going to disagree with me about what is “healthy” food and what is not … but … I don’t really care. Healthy to me right now is high fat, high protein, lower carbs (though not totally gone) … and … delicious!

1. 80/20 Ground Beef

Just the right amount of fat to give it awesome flavor, enough calories, but not so much you experience life-altering scars while cooking barechested over the stove. Ground beef is the staple of my diet. I will eat it always. One might say it was my first love.

Why?

Calories son! Of the fat and protein variety. Carbs need not apply. Look at this sexiness:

If you want an anabolic diet … you better learn how to love up on some Ground beef!

2. Naturally More Peanut Butter

I love peanut butter. I’ve loved it my whole life. As a kid, after I first learned how to use utensils and escaped the monkey race … I learned to make peanut butter sammiches!

Yes, that’s right, peanut butter only. Why? I had no time for jelly. I was like “Jelly, you slow son!” and just grubbed up on like 4 pb sammiches and a big glass of milk every day.

Fat? Check. Protein? Check. But where regular, processed peanut butter lacks … with the hydrogenated veggie oils and all … Naturally More Peanut Butter Comes through for the win! What’s more: it’s got more protein, omega 3 fats, and no trans fats. LOVE it.

Now if they’d only make them in the “Feed the whole family or small nation Costco” jumbo size jars!

I can literally eat pounds of PB and never be satisfied.

3. Sriracha

Do you like spicy? Do you like red food? Do you like kicking it up a notch? Then you’ll love Sriracha!

I first was introduced to the spicy sauce of the Gods while eating Viet Pho soup … and … God said “it was good”. Then I found out it goes on EVERYTHING extremely well!

Burgers? Check. Pizza? Check. Hot Dogs and Sausages? Check. Vagina? Check … err … did I just say that outloud?

4. Jalapeno and BBQ Almonds

Almonds are good for you. Hands down, they’re a great fatty food. Wanna know how to make them better for you? Make them taste more yummy!

Blue Diamond Company came up with the great idea of mixing Jalapeno flavor with BBQ … and … it’s awesome. An ounce of these bad boys gives you 15 grams of fat, 6 grams of protein, and only 2 net carbs.

What more can I say?

5. Avocados!

Dude I’m serious. I have an addiction, like a crack addict, to avocados.

To me, they are like the nectar of the gods … actually … it’s more like the “butt cheek fat” of the gods because it’s not exactly a drink or a solid food. It’s more like delicious fat. Much like biting into a nice fat butt cheek.

Now that I’ve thoroughly grossed you out with my erotic deviancy … why are Avocados so awesome? One, they taste awesome (or maybe I just like the taste of salt?). Two, high in fiber. Three, high in fat. Need I say more?

Give me an avocado a day … and … I’ll f*cking love you

6. Coke Zero

Need to wash all this down with some no-calorie, tasty, fizzy goodness? Then pop a cold coke zero. I know I’ll get crucified by the “natural” gods of fitness blogging but COME ON … I wrote a post about How To Drink Alcohol While Building Muscle and Losing Fat … do you really think I’m not going to enjoy some diet sodas from time to time?

That completes my short list of foods I’ve been eating lately that are De-lish-ous and kick total ass!